The "Booger Man"

One day, several years ago I was on the way to work and was stopped at a red light. There was a  pickup in the lane next to me.  A movement out of the pickup caught my eye and I turned just in time to see some man stick his finger up his nose.  It was with some nausea I shouted through my closed window, "DON"T DO IT!!"  He couldn't hear me though.  He brought his finger out of his nose and yes there was something on it.  It was nasty, it was slimy and it repulsed me but gathering my nerve I yelled,  through closed window, I CAN SEE YOU!!!   He still didn't hear me.  The light turned green and I headed to work with thoughts running through my mind like, "Did he think no one would see?" and "I should have honked and rolled down my window to let him know he was nasty, gross and making me sick!"

Maybe he was just in his own world and forgot where he was.  Maybe he thought he could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.  Maybe he just didn't care whom he made gag all the way to work.  Maybe he thought nobody would see.  Maybe all of the above.

Now I have seen young children do the same thing.  You know take a booger out of their nose, play with it and even eat it.  That might make me feel nauseated but they don't know any better.  They have to be taught.  You have to explain that you don't take things out of your nose to play with, to throw on your brother or to eat it.  You tell them and show them how to take a kleenex and blow that green booger onto that kleenex, then throw it in the trash.

I have found in my own life that I have things that resembles big, fat, slimy boogers.  Those boogers are sin.  I have been taught the right way but sometimes I must not care.  Maybe I think that nobody will know.  Maybe I think that I can do whatever I want.  Maybe I think that nobody will see.

SOMEBODY does see and my sin repulses HIM.  HE yells don't do it!! HE is my TEACHER.  HE is my LORD!!   HE loves me even thought I have been taught but yet still sin.  JESUS is that kleenex that wipes away my sin!

Do you need a kleenex today??

Isaiah 44:22

New International Version (NIV)

²² I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
   your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,
   for I have redeemed you.”

The Art of My Cravings

Yesterday on the way to work, I stopped by McDonalds to get one of their dollar drinks, an unsweet tea.  If you have read my blogs then you know I struggle with eating right and my weight.  If I am sad, happy or mad I eat.  Chocolate has been one of my best friends for a very long time.  You also know that I told God that I am His and want His help in this struggle.

Yesterday though I rationalized that I would also get three chocolate chip cookies.  My thoughts being well I am only buying three of them.  It's not like I am eating a dozen.  I went to work getting there early and was enjoying the taste, the texture and everything about those cookies.  They smelled so good but they tasted even better.  I decided while I was savouring those luscious cookies I would read Janelle Keith's blog spot.

I was amazed when the blog opened and the first thing I saw was a picture of chocolate chip cookies.  My thoughts were wow, my kind of cookie, then I started reading her blog.  She stated she had been reading her bible and had ran across this verse:

Romans 14:20

New International Version (NIV)

²⁰ Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble.

She just had the first sentence of this and I read it as the last crumbs of those cookies were reaching my stomach.  I felt this verse reach the pits of my stomach then it traveled to my heart and left me speechless.  Janelle stated that God was not through with her yet and that there was a lot of work through her obedience in the area of food.  She also stated that chocolate chip cookies just were not worth it.(I know this is not stated exactly right, read her blog,)

The art of my cravings has been rationalization.  I can rationalize the eating of anything.  Romans 14:20 hit me right in the middle of that thinking.  I do not want to destroy the work of God for the sake of food.  I have put it out there for anybody to see when I posted the blog 'Here I am, Lord, All of Me'. 
I do not want to cause somebody to stumble for the sake of eating some chocolate chip cookies.

JanelleKeith.com

The Journey Continues, 10 weeks and 3 days from transplant!!

Just a really quick update:  Wednesday's appointment went really well other then the fact of hurry up and get there to wait and that has become quite normal.

We did see several of the other people there that were on the bone marrow transplant floor when Richard was there.  Most of them were moving and looking really good.  Some of them were still wearing their mask.  You will recall Richard shed his quite early in the game.

His counts were up to 2500, after four shots the week before.  They switched some meds and he will finally be coming off of the steroids, when he takes the last pill.  I believe that will be tomorrow.  He will be down to nine pills a day and most of those twice a day.

This is progress though.  One step and one day at a time!!!  God is in control and He has given Richard a gift of more time.  Only He knows the days that Richard has.  We are grateful for what God has brought Richard through and praise HIS HOLY NAME!!

Deuteronomy 32:4

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
   and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
   upright and just is he.

Give Me Jesus!!

In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Just give me Jesus,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus

[CHORUS]
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus

[CHORUS x 2]

Song Description:
'This is an old hymn that spoke to my heart in huge way. The words are so simple yet very profound in nature. I want everything in my life to always center around Christ. I'm tired of the distractions that lay hold of me sometimes. I just want my first love always to be Jesus. Colossians 3:1-4 states, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life in now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, Who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory."' - Jeremy Camp

When I woke early this morning this song was going through my head so I thought I would share it with you.  When I looked up the words this paragraph by Jeremy Camp was there and what he says is true!!

There are so many things on earth that woo and bid for my time but I need to remember my first love is Jesus.  Where is my heart set?? What about yours???

GIVE ME JESUS!!!

A white out and a prayer challenge!

Most weeks I can come up with at least 2 blogs to post but this week my mind has been as blank as this page looked before I started typing.  Have you ever been in a white out??   That is how my mind has been this week, full of white, fluffy blowing snow.  A big, blank, brain in a full blown white out.  I did tell you in my first blog that sometimes my mind would be full of stuff, maybe bull, but full and sometimes there would be nothing. This week the nothing happened!! 

The more that I thought about my blank mind this week the less I could think.  Maybe if I would have quit thinking about how mindless I seemed, maybe something would have pierced the blankness.

Even though my mind was blank I still knew that Jesus was my Lord and Saviour and that He died on a cross so that I might have eternal life.  He sacrificed and experienced much pain so that I could choose Him and even though my mind was on a white out phase I could not forget this.

Maybe there is a time when my mind needs to quit wondering and thinking and become blank.  If I am on white out mode maybe I will hear that Still Small Voice easier and faster.  When I pray maybe I will be able to listen and hear.  My mind was very blank this last week but I am thinking that I need to clear it often so that I might hear.

Sunday, in the class that I help teach, we challenged the fifth graders to pray seven minutes a day.  They were told they could even split this time up.  Can you meet this challenge?   Can I?  What do we need to clear our minds from?? Can you make it seven minutes a day in prayer?


2 Chronicles 6:19

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ Yet, LORD my God, give attention to your servant’s prayer and his plea for mercy. Hear the cry and the prayer that your servant is praying in your presence.

The Journey Continues: Short update.

It seems like I just posted about a Dr.'s visit.  These weeks are blurring together on this journey.  For now Richard will be seeing the Dr. at least once a week on Wednesdays.  Blood work will always be on this day and sometimes other days.

This week Richard's blood count was down again.  I think it is the same as last week which was 800. Normal is between 4000 and 12000.  He will be receiving a shot today and tomorrow and more blood work Monday.  He is able to do this in Enid though.

The Dr. reminded Richard to stay out of the extreme heat, to wear a wide brimmed hat and to use sunscreen when outside.  They took him off of one medicine and lowered the dose on another.  He is still tired after work but seems to be gaining strength. 

Thanks again for all the prayers!!

1 Chronicles 16:34

New International Version (NIV)

 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
   his love endures forever.

The Journey Continues: Milestones and Fatigue

We passed a milestone, Sunday, without a thought.  There were no balloons, cake or ice cream.  Sunday was two months from the date of Richard's  bone marrow transplant.  We spent it at church, napping and looking at houses. There have been other milestones in this journey, one of which was going back to work.  Then there was going back to work without restrictions.  This milestone came with fatigue.

Now my husband was glad to get back to work without restrictions but it has been not quite the easy road that he thought it might be.  He would not change this but he has had to get out of the heat and he has had to rest.  He comes home exhausted, sore and cranky.

This should be a temporary situation.  He will continue to gain strength and feel better.  He does still have to see his Dr. each week and the Dr. will help him in his journey of returning to heath and strength.  Sometimes he doesn't like what the Dr. tells him but he needs to follow his instructions so that he will continue in the right direction.

We are all on a journey and we have a Dr. to go to for directions.  His name is Jesus!! He will instruct and send us the right way.  The road may not always be easy but we won't walk it alone! What directions are you hearing today?

Romans 5

 ¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

The Journey Continues, Trying not to share germs!

My sinuses have been bothering me off and on for about three weeks.  I didn't really think to much about it until this week when the drainage started dragging me down.  I decided on Thursday that maybe I should see a Dr. to make sure it wasn't an infection.  I headed out on my lunch hour but was told they could not see me until 1:30.  I decided to wait to be seen.

After work I went to Urgent Care and was there about an hour and a half before they finally called me back.  The worst part was the scale but if you have read my blogs you know I am working through my bad eating and exercise habits with God as my trainer.   I have to admit that my blood pressure was really high after stepping on those scales and having someone see the results of my addiction, food.

The Dr. checked me over and decided that I have a bacterial sinus and ear infection with fluid behind the ear.  I was started on antibiotics and I am supposed to squirt salt water or saline into my nose while in the shower.  He also told me to rub the sore spots on the back of my head as this will help me heal faster.

The bad news is that he told me, yes, I was probably contagious.  I then, shared with him about my husband.  I told him about his bone marrow transplant and how his white counts had been very low the day before.

His advice for not sharing germs with my husband was common sense ideas, don't eat and drink after each other, wash hands, no coughing or sneezing without covering mouth or nose.  He also told me to be sure and not use the same bath towel or brush with his toothbrush.  Now I am not sure where this Dr. was raised but where I was raised we DID NOT use each others toothbrush or bath towel!!!

Richard is feeling some drainage today and I am praying that I have not spread my germs to him.

I am thinking that germs are a lot like Satin.  They sneak in and attack my weak points.  They can do damage and leave me sick and hurting.  Satin also likes to sneak in and deceive me at my weakest.  He definitely likes to leave me sick and hurting.

The germs that caused my infections led me to seek out a Dr. for answers and solutions.  I should seek out my God in all circumstances!! 

Don't share your toothbrush with the Devil.

James 1:16-17

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹⁶ Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

The Journey Continues: Almost normal but not quite!

Just a really quick update from Dr. visit.

Tuesday was eight weeks out from transplant date and everything still is going well.  Richard got a full work release but was told to use common sense.  If he gets hot, get out of the heat.  If he gets tired, take a break, etc.  He is very happy to be going back to his normal hours.

The medicines are still messing with his counts though and and his white blood count was really low and he was dehydrated.  He had to have one of those six thousand dollars shots(thank goodness, we have insurance) and be hooked up to an IV for fluids.  The medicine that can mess with his counts is one of the last ones he will be come off of.

He seen the PA yesterday and she seemed pleased with his progress and how is able to do work and do things around the house.

Exodus 15:2

New International Version (NIV)

 ² “The LORD is my strength and my defense^[a];
   he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
   my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

"It's Me Lord, All of Me"

Do you remember? I gave my life to YOU many years ago, back when I was young and skinny.  I remember that feeling of quiet peace after I ask YOU into my heart.  Seconds before I prayed, my heart was pounding and I was scared but YOU calmed me as the HOLY SPIRIT came to reside within me.

YOU have watched me LORD.  YOU have called my name.  YOU have convicted me and punished me.  YOU have watched as life happened and I turned to other things.  YOU have watched me use food for comfort.  YOU have seen me hide chocolate, then eat every piece.  YOU have still held me in YOUR HAND even though I didn't surrender all of me.

I felt that convicting SPIRIT several weeks ago, when I was talking with the Sunday School fifth graders that I help teach.  I was talking with them about our bodies being a Holy Temple. I tried to ignore IT but YOU kept sending me messages.

I read a blog written by Janelle Keith, who is a DJ for KLVV and the post that I read after that Sunday was titled "I Need Grace".  Janelle needed grace because she had started back down the path to tight jeans.  She even called herself A Big Fat Failure.  She has written several blogs since that talked  of second chances, starting over, actions speak louder than words and making U Turns.  Today she wrote of how hard it is to admit and forgive herself and how hard to know that she had hurt GOD.

GOD, YOU put those blogs and conviction there just when YOU knew that I would finally listen.  If actions speak louder than words, and they do, I have been sending the wrong message.  I need to treat my body like the temple it is.  It's not that I will ever be young and skinny again but I need to admit and surrender it to YOU!  Thank-you GOD for second chances and u turns.


                                       HERE I AM LORD, ALL OF ME!!!!

JanelleKeith.com

The Journey Continues: A look back at dirt.

When Richard entered the hospital in May he was allowed to shower but was told that at some point his counts would be to low to shower.  This information was greeted with disbelief and much arguing. The nurse said it could cause sickness and even death if he came in contact with mold or spores from the shower head.  Richard then proceeded to tell the nurse that she was nuts.  The nurse addressed this statement through pursed lips that he would indeed follow the rules or else.   I am not sure what the what else would have been.  Richard liked to call her Nurse Cratchet after that, but never to her face.

The day came when those counts dipped below the point of no shower.  Richard endured this news with a scowl but seemed to accept his fate.  Then nurse Cratchet brought in a big packet of what looked like thick baby wipes.  She had even heated them up for him but the smile on her face made me think she was thinking of the rules.  Richard's scowl got deeper but he took the wipes.  The bad thing about the wipes were they just didn't make Richard feel clean.  He said he always felt dirty.

Then came baths in ICU.  They didn't come close to the cleanings that the wipes had done.  The 'baths' were done by the nurses and were supposed to be done nightly.  When Richard was alert and knew what was going on, he told me that he felt so gritty and grimy that he couldn't hardly stand it.  He remembers that one night his face would be washed, the next maybe his feet but never his whole body at one time.   He got a spot cleaning that left him feeling filthy.

His first full day back in a regular room I helped him bathe from head to toe while he sat in a chair.  The water in the pan turned dirty and even though we scrubbed off lots of dirt he still didn't feel quite clean.  The Dr. had said he was to unstable to take a shower but after several days of physical therapy, even some by himself, he was ready for that shower.  After that shower he felt clean.  It was such a cleansing wash that even his countenance looked brighter.  I think this was a turning point in his relationship with Nurse Cratchet.  He discovered she was not so bad after all and I even saw him smile at her.  It is amazing what a cleansing, purifying shower can do for a person!

I find myself so dirty sometimes that even a shower doesn't work.  I need a different kind of cleansing.  I might look clean but deep down in my soul I can feel the dirt.  If I let it stay I am so full of filth I don't like to look at myself.  My smile becomes shallow and weak.  I know the ONE who will give me that cleansing.  I only have to ask and will receive that cleansing shower.  He cleanses the whole me, not just some spots. Then my smiles start on the inside!  :)

Hebrews 10:22

New International Version (NIV)

²² let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

The Journey Continues: At Work!

Another late Wednesday appointment  today and another day with Richard bargaining to go back to work.  He won today. The Dr. signed the release and Richard can go back as early as Friday.  He will go to his job tomorrow and start the paper work and they will figure out which day to start him back.

The Dr. said he looked good and his counts are good, so back to work he will go.  But with restrictions.  He has to stay out of the heat, no heavy lifting, no fumes or solvents.  Sounds like he will be pushing a pencil. :)

He still will have to come back ever Wednesday for a while to see the Dr. and have blood work.  Next week the appointment will be earlier in the day which is good.  I will be able to make it to choir!!  If Richard is heading back to work, it is time for me to get back to choir!!!!!  YEA!!!!

Psalm 9

 ¹ I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart;
   I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
² I will be glad and rejoice in you;
   I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.

The Journey and the Mask

This journey of cancer, chemo and stem cell transplants that my husband is traveling has been one where I have supported him, for the most part 100 percent.  There have been  a few points of contention though.  One of the main arguments has been the wearing of a mask.  After each transplant it has been made clear ahead of time that his immune system would be vulnerable and after leaving the hospital he would need to wear a mask.  You would think this would be an easy thing to do.  Right?

Apparently not!!   He says his counts are good, he doesn't need it.  His immune system, which seems to be a robust one, is still a recovering one.  One of the medicines that he is on can also wreak havoc on his system.  I know the mask makes it hot and can steam up your glasses but if it is for your protection my answer is wear the MASK!!

Richard says no!!  I know that he probably would be the only one wearing a mask and people might stare.  He might really look different because of the mask.  He wouldn't be able to blend in and someone might ask him questions.  But this is his protection!  What if that person talking to him is infected??  What then??

How about you?  Do you just blend in??(and I am talking to myself, also)  It is to easy to just act like everybody else.  Does anybody see a difference in you or me that might point them to the PROTECTION!!  Do you know my PROTECTION??  I hope that people can see the difference.  I would love to tell them where they can pick up their MASK of PROTECTION!  JESUS is my PROTECTION!!

Exodus 15:2

New International Version (NIV)

 ² “The LORD is my strength and my defense^[a];
   he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
   my father’s God, and I will exalt him.