The Journey Contiues: Back in the hosptial at six and a half months

This was a day of anticipation and dread.  We knew that the pet scan showed that there were still spots.  We just didn't know what the Dr. would say about this.  This was also the first time that I had not been with Richard on a visit to see the bone marrow Dr.  I had to rely on phone calls and text to find out what was going on.  A BIG thank-you to Richard Stephens for being Richard's side kick today.

The first time I called Richard I found out that when they did his vitals he had a fever of 101 so they were going to do blood cultures and a chest ex ray.  He was not happy but he said that he had not bitten off any heads yet but maybe a few ears.  His igg infusion went well this time and he said it actually only took a little over an hour.  He then had the ex ray and a snack.

He saw the Dr. right at 1:30 and found out that he has pneumonia.  The Dr. said that he would need to be treated in the hospital  because his white blood counts were really low.  The Dr. did not give him a choice in the matter.  He told him that he would be admitted to the hospital. Richard has told the nurses that he does not have pneumonia and that there was a mistake made somewhere.

When Richard called to tell me about this he told me that he had good and bad news.  The bad news was the pneumonia so I knew immediately that the good news had to be about the pet scan and the spots.  The Dr. said that the spots were much smaller and that he was not even concerned about them.  He feels like that they will disappear or they could even be scar tissue from the chemo.

I think this good news has made Richard just a little more tolerate of this hospital stay.  He seems to be in  a good mood and is letting out some big yawns.  I have a feeling that he might sleep well tonight!!

Jeremiah 29:11-13

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Crumbs??

Yesterday evening we had the hanging of the green.  It was a great service with singing, prayers, readings and the hand bells.  Yes the hand bells and yes I did play.  I have to say that I would have played better with more practice but thought I did fairly well except for that one song where I lost my place.  Probably no one noticed except for the director and he doesn't miss anything.

I was glad when the hand bells played the last song and sat down with a sigh of relief.  Then I  looked down and saw crumbs on my shirt.  My first thought was that I hoped that nobody else saw them but then thought is this what I give to God.  Do I just give the crumbs?

On the way home I could not get that thought out of my mind.  How many times do I just give crumbs? I should give my all to God no matter what I am doing.  Whether I am playing, singing, working I should give all.  God gave all for me and I should give Him more than the crumbs.

Romans 6:23

New International Version (NIV)

²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in^[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.

I AM THANKFUL!!!

Today is Thanksgiving and I am thankful.  I am thankful for my family and friends.  I am thankful for those in my past and those that will be in my future.  I am thankful for the freedoms that we have in this country.  I am so thankful for those that serve to protect those freedoms.  I am thankful for my hometown of Wellston, Oklahoma!!  I might not be the person I am without that little town that was part of my growing up years.  I am thankful for that school and the teachers that tried to mold me into a person with knowledge in my head.  I am thankful for music, books and writing.  I am thankful for the ones that read my words and encourage me.  I am thankful for Doctors and nurses.  I am thankful for Falls Creek, preachers, song leaders, youth ministers, Sunday school teachers and nursery workers.  I am thankful for my job, boss and co-workers.  I am thankful for the clouds, the trees, flowers, snow and rain.  I am thankful for food, especially chocolate.

Then there are a few things that I am now thankful that I never thought I would be.  I am thankful for Enid.  When I moved here in 1990 I hated it.  I didn't want to move from my hometown.  In that town I left behind my parents, my house, and all my friends that I had grown up with.  They had been there for me in good and bad times and now I was in a town with no friends.  Those 100 miles that separated Enid and Wellston seemed more like 1000.  I am glad I didn't give up because I have so many wonderful friends in Enid.  When I go to Wellston I feel like I am going home but when I get back to Enid I feel the same way.  Enid is my home but Wellston will always be home too.

In 1995 I went through a heartbreaking divorce and I felt God leading me to First Baptist Church here in Enid.  I didn't want to have any part of that but I did visit.  It was so BIG.  I hated it!!  I visited other churches but I kept hearing God tell me to go to First Baptist Church, so my boys and I kept visiting.  The boys didn't really want to go to First Baptist either. I remember going to a training union class and nobody even spoke to me.  I told God, "See that is what happens in a big church." He kept leading me to First Baptist.  I finally yielded and joined First Baptist in the spring of 1996. I love First Baptist Church now.  This church is where I met Richard.  This church is where one of my sons and my daughter found the Lord.  Some of my best friends are at this church.  I am so thankful for this church!!!

Most of all I am thankful for my God.  He gave His Son that I might live! I am thankful for that Son and that He was willing to die for me.  I am thankful that he is my provider and comforter.  I am thankful for all that He has given me.  I am thankful that He does not give up on me.  I am thankful that He loves us all.  I am thankful that He is Father.  I am thankful for His protection.  I am thankful for all the brothers and sisters in Christ.  I am thankful for the Holy Spirit.  I am thankful that no matter what happens in my life God is there.  Thank-you  God for who you are and what you do!!

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:6-7 NIV

LET ME IN!

Last night I hurried down to the church for hand bell practice.  I had missed several of the practices because of my daughter's ballgames.  I had been to an out of town ballgame but actually got back into town just ten minutes after the start of  practice so I decided to go to practice.

I started calling cellphones, of the other members, to alert them I was on the way.  No one answered but I hurried to the church.  I checked the door but it was locked.  I went to another door and it was locked.  I called but still no answer.  I banged on the door but the only response I heard was the ringing of bells.  I tried to knock on a window but I couldn't reach it so I called one last time with no answer.  I headed back home with the thought in my head, "Well, at least I tried!"

I may have tried but trying doesn't get me ready to play.  I needed that practice to prepare.  I don't want to mess up.  I don't want to be thinking, "Oh, I wish I had been ready!!"

I might not be ready to play hand bells on Sunday but I am ready for heaven.  When that day comes I won't be saying, "I wish I had been ready."  I know with out a doubt that I have Jesus in my heart.  I realized that I was a sinner, repented and asked my Lord and Savior into my heart.  I won't be knocking at heaven's door saying, "Let me in!"  That door is unlocked!

Is it unlocked for you?

Revelation 3:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

The Journey Continues: A birthday, six months out from transplant!!

This is a day to rejoice and say thanks!! Six months ago today Richard received his new immune system.  That was an exciting day or night to be exact.  It was around eleven p.m. when the transplant started.  The nurses were in and out of the room and there was an air of excitement.  That was the day that his prognosis changed from no hope to hope for more days on this earth.  Richard knew that his hope was in the Lord and that no matter what happened he would be ok.

This last six months have not been without a few bumps and bruises along the way.  The fact that he landed in ICU less than a month after the transplant makes this day even more special.  The first night in ICU the Dr. thought he would not make it out of ICU.   He was having some graft/vs/host disease problems with his lungs and a medicine that he was on had caused his kidneys to quit functioning. They told me that he had went septic and it might be a good idea to call the family in.

Richard's blood type has went from b- to a+ and the new immune system has been in place for a while.  This new immune system still doesn't seem to like it's new host and has been on attack.  Richard was back in OU Medical again with this problem the end of September and beginning of October.  He is on steroids and they are trying to wean him down off of them.  Hopefully that immune system will behave and figure out that Richard's body is it's new home.

This last week has been an interesting week also.  Last Friday we spent most of the day at the hospital because Richard was dizzy and thought the room was dark when the light was on.  He was low on potassium and his blood pressure was low.  Then Monday he got his feet tangled up in the ottoman and fell hitting the fireplace so back to the hospital where he endured getting eight stitches above his right eye.  I am ready for some boring days!!

Richard will have a pet scan on Monday and the results on the 30th of November.  My hope and prayer is that the cancer is gone.No matter what happens I am still thankful to the bone marrow donor and the gift she was willing to make.

God is still in control and He is good all the time.

Philippians 2:13

New International Version (NIV)

¹³ for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Mouth full of germs

I went to the dentist last week.  It had been over two years since my last visit and my mouth showed that fact.  The only reason that I went is because I have a tooth that is not whole anymore.  There is a  gaping hole right in the middle of the tooth.  The dentist even asked me if that tooth was used for anything besides storing food.  I guess there were a few bits of food stored in that hole.

I used to go for cleanings every six months but I guess I just didn't make the time or thought it wasn't that important.  I may rethink my thinking!!  I now have a tooth that needs a cap. I also have gum disease. The food that I thought was going down my throat was lodging between my teeth and gums.  It was stuck there and no amount of brushing was adequate.  I have been an intermittent flosser at best and without those cleanings that stuck food turned into germs, bacteria and sick gums.  My gums bleed and are sensitive and gum disease can lead to strokes, blood clots and heart problems.

Since that appointment, I have been back for a cleaning and have scheduled an appointment to fix the tooth with the hole.  The dentist is working on a plan for the gum disease which could include lasering or a new treatment which involves having a cast made of my mouth to make a tray to wear fifteen minutes twice a day with medicine.  The medicine will be in the trays and will soak into my teeth and gums.  This has all came about because I didn't think it was that important to floss or to get regular cleanings at the dentist.  I thought that brushing was all my teeth needed.  I didn't realize that my teeth needed a deeper cleansing to stay well.  My gums will heal with treatment and cleanings but I need to keep those appointments.

I sometimes don't realize that my soul needs a deeper cleaning.  I just go through the motions. I might read a quick verse, pray a short prayer and plan my week during the preacher's sermon.  I guess I just don't take the time or think it is important.  I think my weak attempts are adequate until I have a gaping hole in my soul. I have soul disease!  My soul becomes sensitive and full of germs that can result in heart problems.

I have to go the Soul Doctor!  He will repair the hole in my soul. My soul will heal with regular visits. He reminds me to keep my appointments that cleanse and keep me whole.  I need to keep those appointments!

Do you have a hole in your soul?

Psalm 51:9-10 (NIV)

⁹ Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

RELEASE DATE!!!

Today is the day of the release of my second book!!!  I have had the books but they have not been available in the stores or online!!  They are now!! 

It just seems like yesterday I was in high school at Wellston, Ok. telling my German teacher Mr. Alcorn that I wanted to be a writer.  I let that dream get put on the sidelines but somehow that makes this just a little bit sweeter!!   Never give up on your dreams!!!

Buy a book today!!!!

The Journey Continues: 5 months and 3 weeks after transplant

Quick update:  Richard's appointment went fairly well yesterday.  We didn't even have to wait to long. A first. LOL!  The Dr. said he is going to try to get him off of the steroids as quick as he can.  They are supposed to call today to let us know if they are going to cut it half or do away with it completely.  He still has some swelling in his feet and ankles but they didn't seem to concerned about that.  He will be doing a pet scan sometime before his next appointment which will be in THREE weeks.  He will receive an IGG treatment that day also.  It will be a long day starting at nine and his Dr. appointment at 1:30.  This will be anther first because I won't be able to go with him that day and will have to find someone willing to spend the day with him at the Dr.'s office.

As always thank-you so much for your prayers!!!

Earthquake!!!

I have never experienced an earthquake until Saturday night.  I apparently slept through the foreshock earlier that morning.  The one on Saturday night was a strange experience that started with a weird noise and than a sensation of the room moving.  It took me several seconds to realize that this was an earthquake.  It only lasted about 30 seconds and there was no damage to our home.  The newspaper did report that two water lines were affected in Enid.

Last night I heard that weird noise again but didn't really feel any movement.  This noise was in the middle of a thunderstorm but I knew that this was earthquake noises.  My daughter and I were standing looking at each other when this happened and we both said earthquake.  It only lasted about 15 seconds but others felt it too. 

Those closer to the epicenter did experience damage and have been feeling the aftershocks with more intensity than I have.   Their lives are more affected but those shock waves did spread and was even felt in those that live in other states.  There was even a report that the quake was felt in Wisconsin.

Sometimes my life is like an earthquake.  Things happen that I can't control and I can see the shock waves spreading.  The shock waves can spread far depending on the way I react.  The glass of my life might shatter, if I don't remember that the Source who controls the earth shaking earthquakes also controls the life shaking ones.  The Source brings peace even in the midst of chaos!

Isaiah 53:5

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Mama Bear

Have you ever heard that you don't mess with bear cubs because the mama might be close.  You mess with those bear cubs and you are in trouble if mama finds out or sees.  She may even perceive something innocent to be something bad and you are in trouble.  She is a fierce champion of her cubs.  Don't mess with those cubs!!

I have been somewhat like that with my children especially when they were small cubs.  If I thought that someone was messing with my cubs, watch out, the mama bear in me came out.  I even kicked a nursery worker once because I perceived that she was just letting my baby cry without trying to comfort him.  She took it in stride, she was somewhat of a mama bear herself.

There does come a time when you have to let those cubs out of your sight.  They have to figure out their path.  It is hard to watch a child fail or get hurt but if we don't loosen the grip those cubs might never learn how to make it in the world.  Sometimes they choose the wrong path and there are consequences but those are learning experiences.  It is so hard to watch your cubs as they struggle to figure out who they are.  I still get mad as a mama bear if I see any of my cubs, even the grown ones, getting mistreated but I know they have to experience every aspect to learn and grow.

I have a God like that.  He doesn't like me being mistreated or taking the wrong path but He knows that sometime I have to wander around in the desert for awhile to figure out what His will for my life is.  He knows that the experience and even mistreatment will help me grow and become the Christian that I should be.  No matter what path I choose God is always there.

Nehemiah 9:19

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹⁹ “Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the wilderness. By day the pillar of cloud did not fail to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take.

Writing the write way

I have been accepted as a reporter for examiner.com but they want me to write their way.  I am really struggling with this.  I have gotten very used to writing in the first person.  I like being able to interject my opinions whenever I want to!!! :)  They want me to just state the facts.  Now I can state the facts but I find that it is so hard not to write my opinion about the subject.

I do have opinions about so many things and I am not very shy about sharing them.  I am not saying that my opinions are always the right one but they might be.  Maybe there are two sides to a subject and I can write that but it is hard not to be biased when I think my opinion is the right one.

I have learned though that sometimes my opinions are wrong.  I do need to look at all angles of a subject and report that and let readers decide for themselves.  Sometimes all the facts fit together and everybody is wrong and sometimes each side is a little bit right.  Sometimes there is only one right way but sometimes it is hard to admit being wrong.

There is one subject that I will not budge about  no matter how many sides some might want to present.  That subject would be my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I do know that there are debates that have went on for centuries about this subject but I am certain of this.  Jesus did come to earth to die for me and nothing will ever change that!!  Three days later He rose again and paved a way to Salvation!

He died for you too!!

John 3:16

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

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