Thankfulness

Tomorrow is a day to pause, reflect and remember what you are thankful for.  I thought I would just let you know today what I am thankful for!

I am thankful for another year with my husband.  I am thankful for his doctors that work so hard to keep him here.  I am thankful for his bullheaded, stubborn ways.  I am thankful that he is a family man and puts us first even in the midst of cancer.(even though we beg him to rest and concentrate on getting better)  I am thankful for his attitude! I am thankful that he is a christian!

I am thankful for my children and granddaughter and that this year we will all be together for Thanksgiving.  I am thankful for each one of them with their different gifts and ways of making me laugh, cry and sometimes scream.

I am thankful for my extended family, church family and many friends .  I am thankful for reconnecting with some friends this year that I hadn't seen in a long time!

I am thankful for the gift of prayer!  I am thankful for everybody that has sent many prayers to heaven on our behalf!  I am thankful for the Bible!

I am thankful for my house, my car, running water, food(especially chocolate), bathrooms, microwaves, music, furniture,  a heater, air conditioners, books, cleaning supplies, a job, co-workers, movies, the truth, writing, a computer, facebook, telephones and the list goes on!

I am thankful that I live in a free country where I have many rights!

Most of all I am thankful for my Heavenly Father, His Son, Jesus who died and rose again for us and the Holy Spirit who convicts!  I am thankful for the forgiveness given freely when asked for!  I am thankful that a way was paved for eternal life many, many years ago!!

What are you thankful for?

Psalm 100:3-5

New International Version (NIV)

³ Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his^[a];
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
⁵ For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

The fire within me

Have you ever had a fire within you?  I have!  This time it ain't been so good.  I have let this fire consume me and move me.  It has spread from deep within me to other areas of my life.  I have allowed something petty to grow, to multiply and affect others.

I finally last night was quiet enough to hear that still, small voice wooing and convicting.  The Holy Spirit was trying to tell me something and I had to settle down to hear.  I had let this issue become top priority and it didn't matter what I was doing, it was the top dog in my mind(what little mind is there).  

That still, small, convicting voice was telling me that if I was to have a fire in me that it should be the fire of Jesus.  The fire within me should be uplifting and full of grace not petty and malicious!  I had to stop right then and ask for forgiveness and to change the fire into a light for Jesus.

What lights your fire??  

Isaiah 1:30-31

New International Version (NIV)

³⁰ You will be like an oak with fading leaves,
    like a garden without water.
³¹ The mighty man will become tinder
    and his work a spark;
both will burn together,
    with no one to quench the fire.”

Luke 11:35-36

New International Version (NIV)

³⁵ See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.³⁶ Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you.”

My daughter's long, horrible, low down rotten day

Saturday was a busy day for my daughter.  She had tryouts for the Red Carpet Honor Band and than later that day a basketball game for the championship of a tournament at her school.  It started out a good day.  She seemed calm, cool and collected.  We left for the tryouts and she seemed good.

The musicians had to go to their stations to get their time.  When my daughter and her friend got to the front to get their times, they were not even on the list.  All at once Sarah was uptight and not so calm, cool and collected. She finally got her number and got to play.

The ball game was later that day and she sat on the bench until the fourth quarter.  I could tell by her face that she was not happy.  She did get to play most of that quarter and she hustled and played well but she still was not happy.

Now this day should have been a very good day for her.  She did make the Honor Band and the team won their game, they are 6 and 0 now.  You would think that this would be a wonderful day full of wins but not in her eyes.  She knows she could have played her flute better.  She was very nervous and her finger's were shaking and she was upset even though the team won.  She wanted more playing time.

As her mother I understand and I hurt for her too.  I want to fix it, I want to help but sometimes she just has to learn on her own.  I had to back off and try to keep my mouth quiet.  It wasn't very easy.  My daughter will have lots of long, horrible, low down rotten days and my hope is that each one will teach her something.  I hope that she will grow because of those days.

There is One though that can calm her and give her a peace that I can not give and that would be Jesus.  He knows all, He comforts His children and helps one through any long, horrible, low down rotten day.


What about you? Do you know His comfort?

Isaiah 66:12-14

New International Version (NIV)

¹² For this is what the Lord says:

“I will extend peace to her like a river,
    and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
you will nurse and be carried on her arm
    and dandled on her knees.
¹³ As a mother comforts her child,
    so will I comfort you;
    and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”

¹⁴ When you see this, your heart will rejoice
    and you will flourish like grass;
the hand of the Lord will be made known to his servants,
    but his fury will be shown to his foes.

John 14:1-3

New International Version (NIV)

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God^[a];believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

The Journey Continues:Update on Options

The weird thing about this Doctor's visit was that we thought we were going down to hear options and that we would than choose what was the best option.  Well the decision was already made for us which made it very easy.  The Doctor came in and said  okay this is the plan.  Richard will be started on a chemo called Bendamustine.  It is a chemo that is specifically used for lymphoma, leukemia, multiple myelomas and macroglbulinemia patients that have a failed transplant.  The doctor also mentioned that they would be in contact with the bone marrow donor to see about getting some more cells.  They will not do another transplant but will give the cells through IV, which is how he got them before, but they will not be killing his immune system.  The hope is that this time the cells will attack any cancer cells.

Richard will be doing chemo every three weeks and whatever day that is on he will also see the Doctor or  a PA on that day.  The Doctor was very optimistic and said that probably after two treatments another pet scan will be performed to see the progress if any and decided what to do from there.  He did mention that Richard could have chronic Hodgkin's Lymphoma and some have lived many years with it.

Thanks again for the prayers!!

1 Thessalonians 5:18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.


I also thought that the verse of the day on Bible gateway was a great one!

Psalm 119:143

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴³ Trouble and distress have come upon me,
    but your commands give me delight.

The Journey Continues:Options

The results are in from the biopsy.  It is positive for cancer.  Richard and I will meet with the doctor Wednesday at three(blood work at two) to figure out our options.  We had already been told about three different chemo treatments that are available and have showed good results.  It is good to have options and we will have many questions.

Now Richard told me that I didn't have the option to cry.  I beg to differ, unbidden tears spring to my eyes just writing this.  I am a cryer and I really don't have any options but to cry.  I cry when I am happy, sad and sometimes for no reason.  I will try to have options on when I cry.  I will try to not cry in front of my husband and mainly in private but there is no guarantee.  I have told many people that I am not strong despite my tears but because of my tears.  I believe that God gave me the gift of tears.  Somehow no matter how tough things seem I feel better after a good cry.  Maybe my husband could learn from that.

Richard is very strong and he is determined.  He will fight to victory and if you know him you know that he knows that victory is in whatever happens.  Whether he is cured or whether he ends up in heaven that will be his victory.  He is not worried about that but about his family.  His journey with cancer started in 2009 and he has fought for every victory.

Richard's fight with cancer and graft/vs/host reminds me of the fight we struggle with daily.  Just as his cancer  decided to keep coming back so does satin in our spiritual fight.  We make strides and then setbacks.  We struggle daily to defeat the devil.  I need to remember that God is the one to turn to daily.  I can't do this on my own or I don't win.  The devil does.  Remember we all have options!  What about you?  What are your options?

God has given us another gift. The prayers!  Many of you pray daily for us.  Thank-you from the bottom my heart!!

Proverbs 3:5-6

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.^[a]

Points for the wrong team?

Many of you  that read my post know that I am a Mama Bear!  Don't mess with my children or you may have to face me.  Sometimes though Mama Bear needs to step back and let the little bears learn a few lessons on their own.

My only child left at home is a very talented young lady in many areas and she loves to play basketball.  The season started Friday and there were several mistakes made.  It reminded me of the time when my number two son was playing.  He was all by himself under the basket and turned as everyone in the crowd yelled at him.  He turned and easily made two points.  It was then he realized that he had just made two points for the other team.  He was embarrassed but there was not a thing he could do.  The deed was done and two points were chalked up for the other team.

At my daughter's game Friday I let my tongue and anger get the best of me.  I thought that maybe she needed to get to play a little more.  I thought maybe the coach should open her eyes.  I said some things that I should have kept to myself and ended up being rude to a young coach.  I started regretting my behavior on the way home but by the next day I knew that I should have kept my mouth shut.  Then on Sunday the preacher's sermon was out of James 3.  It was about the tongue and anger.  I sent an apology by text message that afternoon but the words and the actions could not be taken back.  They had already been said and I realized I had made points for the other team.  Satin's team.  I think  that this time Mama Bear learned a hard lesson!

What about you?  What team are you scoring for??

James 3:9-17

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Two Kinds of Wisdom

¹³ Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.¹⁵ Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. ¹⁶ For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
¹⁷ But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

The Journey Continues:Biopsy

Just a quick update to let you know that Richard will have his biopsy tomorrow.  He has been okay most of the time though he does still tire easily.  Yesterday he felt like his head was full of congestion.  His face was very red and it looked like a rash to me.  I think that graft/vs/host is still going strong in his body.  I am not sure when we will get the results of the biopsy.  They will do the biopsy at one.

Thanks again for all the prayers that have been going up for Richard!!!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

The Long and Whiny Road:Children, cars and obediance

I grew up cruising Highway 66.  It was one of the roads that I traveled while in Drivers Ed class.  It became well known to me especially the stretch from my house off of Highway 177 onto 66 that lead into my hometown of Wellston.  Technically my three son's hometown is Wellston also and they spent some of their  first years traveling that stretch of road.

When my youngest son was around a year old the powers that be started cracking down on seat belt use.  It was going to become mandatory to use seat beats.  I remember that there was a period of time that we had to get used to this and to start using them.  It was a grace period.  If we got caught we would get a warning.

I was heading into town one day in my little Toyota Corolla.  I had some big boxes in the back seat and my youngest was wedged into the corner almost hidden by the big boxes.  He fell fast asleep as his two older brothers shared the passenger front seat.  I was almost to town when I noticed a car behind me.  It was a highway patrol car.  I instantly cautioned my two in the front seat to sit still.  Well my number two son had this problem.  He sometimes liked to do the exact opposite of what I told him to do.  He immediately jumped up, stood in the seat facing backward and he had a really good view as the red lights came on.

I pulled over and I cautioned the boys to just be quiet.  The youngest was still in the back sound asleep.  The officer made it to my window and looked in.  At that very instant my number two son decided to cry, yell and scream at the top of his lungs.  The officer very quickly assessed the situation and let me off with a warning.  He did lecture me on the safety of using seat belts and keeping children safe while my son screamed the whole time!  My youngest slept through the whole thing.

I wonder how many times that I have done this as a Christian.  I hear God telling me to do something but I do the exact opposite.  Why on earth would I do that?  Just as I grew up with a knowledge of Highway 66 around the area of my hometown I have known my God for a long time.  He knows what is best for me and what I am capable of so why would I do the exact opposite of what I am suppose to do?  It must be my nature, or I think I that it is something I jut can't do or maybe I think it is too hard.  I need to listen, obey and respond just as I wanted my own children to do.  God wants me to use His seat belt!    Sometimes God gives me a grace period and another chance.  Sometimes I receive a ticket.

What about you?  Are you traveling the road of obedience?

Psalm 119:4-6 (NIV)

⁴ You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.
⁵ Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!
⁶ Then I would not be put to shame
when I consider all your commands.