This morning I walked away from my daughter at the airport because I was hovering, telling her to do this and don't forget this and in the process I was annoying her and making myself nervous. I may even have been getting on the teacher's nerves just a bit. I decided to forgo the long goodbye and after a short hug and goodbye I left. I only looked back once or twice or probably three times.
She was at the airport to depart on the Washington D.C. trip, and I was regretting that I did not somehow figure out a way to go with her. She had whined about the trip, wanting one of us if not both to go with her. She even threatened that she was not going to go! I always just hushed her and told her, "Too bad, you are going!!" The funny thing is that she was doing great but I felt lousy leaving her to face this adventure alone. Well, she was with ten friends and two sponsors. I walked away with an empty place in my soul. Mind you she will be back Friday but Washington D.C. is so FAR away!
I reached the parking garage and remembered feeling that empty place before. It was the same every time one of my children left the safe comfort of my zone. The zone that I usually had semi control of, even though there were hurts, bruises and broken bones that did happen on my watch I was there to sooth them, take them to the doctor and think that I was in control.
My daughter is the last child at home and even though at one time I thought that the leavings would become easier they have not. I know that this time away will only make her stronger and more sure of herself. She needs to experience many things without me or dad. I can't hover and keep her in my comfort zone if she is to grow and become who God wants her to be.
The empty feeling in my soul eases as I look forward to seeing her again Friday. I am praying that she stays safe, has a wonderful time and many lasting memories!
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