The Journey Continues:14th day of fever

Richard went to bed with a temperature last night and he woke up with one.  It has been high enough that he has taken the Tylenol.  He really didn't feel good this morning but he has already left for work.  He worries so much about how much leave time he has.  He mentioned yesterday that he was down to 75 hours.  He so wants to go on that vacation in July.  He is worried that if something doesn't give he will end up in the hospital and use up his time.  Hopefully the medicine he was put back on will make a difference soon.

I did not remind Richard that a year ago on this day at about five in the morning the doctor had came and told me that his outlook was very grim and that it might be a good idea to call the family.  He was on the ventilator with his lungs full of fluid, his kidneys were shut down and his whole system had went septic.  God was with Richard and I then and He is with us now. God is the ultimate healer!  The prayers were flowing then as they are now and we so much appreciate that!!  Thanks!!!

Mark 2:17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷ On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

The Journey Continues:13th day of fever

You can probably tell from the title that Richard is still running a temperature today.  He has been as high as102.5 and a low of 99.3 but he feels pretty lousy right now.  Of course he went to work today and sounds like it was a rough day.  He came in the door dragging.  He is resting now though.

I did talk with the PA today and she said that they did get some results from the blood work that showed that his CMV count was up.  She started him back on the medicine that messes with his white blood counts but it does help the CMV counts to go down.  Hopefully this will kick out the fever also.

Richard is frustrated and he is very tired but he knows that God is in control and nothing can ever change that!

Romans 8:39

New International Version (NIV)

³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The Journey Continues:Fever lower today

Richard said he had a good day today.  His fever never got above 102.2 and he did go to work.  He was fairly cool when he arrived home from work but was running a low grade fever.  He has coughed up a lot more of the green stuff and threw up quite a bit of flem.  Now to me that would be a bad day but compared to the ones he has had lately he feels like it was a good one.  I do think I will be calling the doctor again tomorrow to see if there is something we can do to get rid of the fever and the cough.  Thanks again for the prayers!!

The Long and Whiny Road:The leavings

This morning I walked away from my daughter at the airport because I was hovering, telling her to do this and don't forget this and in the process I was annoying her and making myself nervous.  I may even have been getting on the teacher's nerves just a bit.  I decided to forgo the long goodbye and after a short hug and goodbye I left.  I only looked back once or twice or probably three times.

She was at the airport to depart on the Washington D.C. trip, and I was regretting that I did not somehow figure out a way to go with her.  She had whined about the trip, wanting one of us if not both to go with her.  She even threatened that she was not going to go!  I always just hushed her and told her, "Too bad, you are going!!"  The funny thing is that she was doing great but I felt lousy leaving her to face this adventure alone.  Well, she was with ten friends and two sponsors.  I walked away with an empty place in my soul.  Mind you she will be back Friday but Washington D.C. is so FAR away!

I reached the parking garage and remembered feeling that empty place before.  It was the same every time one of my children left the safe comfort of my zone.  The zone that I usually had semi control of, even though there were hurts, bruises and broken bones that did happen on my watch I was there to sooth them, take them to the doctor and think that I was in control.

My daughter is the last child at home and even though at one time I thought that the leavings would become easier they have not.  I know that this time away will only make her stronger and more sure of herself.  She needs to experience many things without  me or dad.  I can't hover and keep her in my comfort zone if she is to grow and become who God wants her to be.

The empty feeling in my soul eases as I look forward to seeing her again Friday.  I am praying that she stays safe, has a wonderful time and many lasting memories!

The Journey continues:11 days of fever

Didn't update this morning because I wanted to see how the day went.  Richard said he slept well last night but did wake up at two and felt so hot he just took the Tylenol without taking his temperature.  He is at the point now where he can kinda gage how much his temperature is.  If I had woke up I would have taken it though.  He coughed up a bunch of green gunk this morning and had to take Tylenol this morning and this afternoon.  Thirty minutes ago it was down to 99.3.  Hopefully the fever will go away!!!

Thanks for the prayers!

Remembering the fallen

This is a day of remembrance.  For some it is just a day to cook out, get together with families and friends but for those who have lost a soldier it can be a day of grief and pride.  There are thousands that have lost their lives fighting for us.

I was a mom of a marine, army and national guard soldier and the army son deployed twice, once to Iraq and once to Afghanistan.  The national guard son deployed once to Iraq.  I remember the days of deployment and the fear of receiving that knock on the door.  It never came and I will be forever grateful but for many that knock changed their lives forever.

Take time today to remember and say a prayer of thanksgiving for those that made the ultimate sacrifice.  I don't know who to give credit to for this quote but I have always thought it was right.  It is:
All gave some but some gave all.

I think that is appropriate today as we remember those that gave all!

             

The Journey Continues:Fever, Fever and more fever

Just a really quick update.  Richard's day yesterday was a day that his temperature didn't get any higher than 101.5  but he seemed very tired.  He took about a three hour nap before he went to bed at nine.  Sometime about two or three it went back up to 103.1 and he was doing a lot of coughing.This is the 10th day of fever.  It was 99.0 about thirty minutes ago but he is acting like he feels lousy.  He is reading the paper though.

Thanks again to everybody for the continued prayer!

The Journey Continues:A good night kinda

Last night I slept through the night and didn't hear a thing.  Richard said that he slept through the night but must have coughed some because there was a mound of Kleenex on the night stand.  His temperature this morning was 101.9 but with the Tylenol is down to 99.8.  He seems to be feeling better because he is actually reading the newspaper instead of just scanning it.  Hopefully his temperature is on the a slide downward .  The doctors did not call with any results to the blood culture but when I talked with Bass yesterday they said there were only preliminary results and the results would be finalized in five days which is Sunday.

The Journey Continues:Another quick update

The PA called yesterday and said that one of the nose swabs showed the common cold.  So he has a cold and  crackles in his lungs but he is still running a temperature.  His temperature is going up to 103.4.  Yesterday evening after he took his Tylenol it only went down to 100.5 after being 102.2.  This is the eighth day of fever.

He was running fever in the middle of the night of 101.8 but refused to take anything.  He said let's just see what it does.  Well by this morning it was 103.4 and he did take Tylenol then.  He is such a stubborn, stubborn man.  He is still coughing up gunk in spurts.

The results from the blood cultures should be ready today.  Hopefully they will show up nothing!

The Journey Continues:Not your typical update

Yesterday was a very weird day.  It started off with Richard very upset with me because he knew that I was going to call the bone marrow Doctors.  It was very quiet in our house before he left the house still running fever.  He knew he was sick and he was 100% certain that they would put him in the hospital.  The PA finally called me back about twenty til eleven and said bring him in.  This information was meet with silence when I called Richard but he did come home.

Without him knowing I put some extra clothes in the trunk, just in case.  I tried to talk to him on the way to the city and I just got one word answers or silence.  We did stop in Edmond and had pizza with a friend.  He may have spoke to her.  He did talk with Sarah a little.  By the time we got to the Doctors I was getting quite mad.

Forget what I had written that morning about that God's plans are not to harm you but to prosper you.  I wasn't even thinking about Bible verses.  I was thinking about how contrary my husband was and I wanted to strangle him.

When the Doctors finally did see him, they discovered that he was still running fever and that they could hear crackles in his lungs.  They ran some more test but we have not got the results yet.  The Doctor told Richard to not take Tylenol unless his temperature went about 101.2 which it has last night and this morning.  After Richard more or less trashed me to the Doctors and our daughter I was the silent one.  They didn't keep him and he was ready to talk but not me, oh no, not me.

It was a very silent ride coming back to Enid but oh was my head talking.  I was telling my husband off.  I told him that he was on his on from now on.  Just forget me worrying about him and making sure he got the help he needed.  I was going to be on the sideline from now on.  I was going to just watch him get well or not.  I was through.  Then about the time we got to Enid even though I was still very silent other thoughts started crowding out the telling off of my husband.  Thoughts of how God never gives up even when we do.  Thoughts of how it is a good thing that I am not God because I probably would have already zapped a husband.  Thoughts of God's mercy and grace no matter what we do or say.  I pondered on these thoughts as I told him bye, Sarah and I are going to church but I still wasn't ready for a conversation.  I am so glad God doesn't take our actions personal and by the time we arrived back home I was ready to to talk.  Richard was too and he did apologize.

Richard did have a very rough night and is actually staying home today and tomorrow.  He is coughing alot in spurts and very tired but at least we are at peace.

Thanks again to everyone for all the prayers.  It had to have been some of those prayers that helped soften my heart.  I certainly had lost control of my mind and thoughts.

1 Thessalonians 4:4

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ that each of you should learn to control your own body^[a] in a way that is holy and honorable,

The Long and Whiny Road:Cheerios in My Heart

I don't remember the age that I was when I decided that all I wanted in life was to have babies.  I do know that I was pretty young.  I just remember that I loved those babies and could not wait until I was old enough to have ten or twenty of them.  I was in my early teens when I realized that to accomplish this goal I needed a husband.  My qualifications for that male was that he had to want children!

I married at 19 and one of my first goals was to have a baby by age 21.  That goal was not achieved but I did have my first born at the age of 23.  I was ecstatic!!  Sometime in that first week home from the hospital I decided that just maybe ten or twenty babies might be a tad to many!  I did settle in to enjoy that first son.

It was not long and he was cooing, laughing and getting big.  He also loved to go.  He loved being in the car and would even point indicating, let's go!  I started calling him the go baby.  We did make trips to town and over to grandparents and sometimes would pick up a friend who I will call CL and we would head off for an adventure!

We were in the car so much that I would have cheerios to give to my little go baby when he was hungry.  One day when we picked up CL she had to wipe cheerios off the seat.  There were always cheerios in that car, on the floor, in the car seat and in the other seats.  CL just laughed and made a joke about the cheerios.

I had no idea that time would fly and that little go baby would become a man.  I had no idea how much that I would miss the little go baby and the cheerios that were always scattered in the car.  One day, not to long ago, CL mentioned the cheerio days and the memories flooded my soul and I realized that those memories are safely embedded in my heart!  I will never forget the cheerio days!

Psalm 127:3

New International Version (NIV)

³ Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him.

The Journey Continues:The ups and downs

It is so ironic how Richard can get such good news than within hours he is sick, running a fever, having to see the doctor or (hope not this time) go back into the hospital.  This good news/bad news has been the nature of this journey so far.  It does seem like lately we had been getting more good news than the bad so hopefully what he is fighting now is one of the last hoorahs of the bad news!!

I will be calling the bone marrow Doctors again this morning.  He did start on his antibiotics yesterday evening but then last night he showed me a rash that he has had since yesterday morning.  I did research last night looking for a rash that looked like his and couldn't find one.  I don't know if it could be from the fever or if it could be graft/vs/host rash.  He was still running 101.1 temperature this morning.  I have a feeling that they will want to see him.  Richard is not happy at this point in time because he is afraid that they will put him in the hospital.  He is at work though.  That man never stops but his drive and determination, along with God's Hand on him, is why he is at the point he is now.

God is in control and the ups and downs of cancer and life are what draws us to Him.  He has a purpose and that purpose is not to harm but to prosper  His own.  We may not know what that purpose is on this side of heaven but we can take comfort in the words of God.  Thanks again for all the prayers and encouragements.  You guys are the best!!

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The Journey Continues:Still running fever Tuesday

Richard went to work again today and he still has a temperature.  The good news is that the chest ex-ray came back clear!  Richard had a rough night though.  He had very little sleep and feels like his head is full and like the top of it is going to come off.  He did hesitate today about going to work and said that he might come home early.  Hopefully the results of the other two test will shed some light as to what is going on with him.  Thanks for the prayers!!

Romans 12:12

New International Version (NIV)

¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

The Journey Continues:Still running fever

Well my stubborn husband has just went out the door to head to work even though he is still running a temperature.  This morning it was running 101.1.  I will be calling the nurse at 8:00 and I told him that I would be.  He seems to have a head full of congestion that does drain to his stomach some.  The good news is it is clear in color.  He did bring some of it up this morning.  I have a feeling that they will want some blood work and ex-rays.  Richard said he was fine with that as long as they don't stick him in the hospital.  Praying that this is just an allergy thing!

The Journey Continues: A quick update, fever and chills

Richard started running a fever and having chills today.  He was feeling really tired last night and this morning I checked his temperature and it was 101.2.  It is down to 100.5 this evening.  He did have that IGG infusion this last Thursday so it could possible be the side effects of it.  He is coughing some and blowing his nose quite a bit though.  Pray for him that he will feel better fast!

The Journey Continues:1 year birthday of the immune system!

This has been quite a year.  This day one year ago was the day Richard received his new immune system.  It was closer to midnight when it finally started dripping into his body.  The time of the procedure was changed several times and that is when we learned that his new immune system was arriving on an international flight.  We also learned it was coming from a she.

This was a day of happiness and thankfulness!  This unrelated donor was willing to give part of herself to help someone she didn't even know.  One of the unusual things from this donor was that she was a 10 out of 10 match.  This last year has been full of ups and downs.  The new immune system didn't recognize it's new host and did cause some problems.  We are hoping that is all behind us now!!

Yesterday Richard had a great appointment.  Even though he had to hook up and receive an IGG infusion the rest of his counts were very good.  They have taken him off all of his medicines except for two and if he doesn't have any problems he will go off of those in two weeks.  He will continue to have blood work once a week for now.  His next appointment is in THREE months!!!!

Thanks again to everybody that donates to others!! There are many alive today because of that willingness including my husband!!!  THANK-YOU!!!!!!

Also a BIG THANKS to all the prayer warriors that have prayed so diligently for us and still are!!

Philippians 4:6

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

World Peace

Have you ever wanted to change your name and just start over!  I sure have but I know that my friends and family would still know me.  They know what I look like.  They know what I act like.  They know my personality and all my little quirks.  They know my messiness and my love of taking a nap on Sunday afternoons.  They know I love my family and friends.  They know me even when my actions don't match my words.

There is a certain ball player that has trouble.  Everywhere he goes trouble seems to follow so he decided to change his name.  His name is now World Peace but is this player really at peace.  I don't think so.  His actions don't say so!!  Everyone knows him by his actions.

Actions speak louder than a name!!  What are your actions saying??

Proverbs 20:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ Even small children are known by their actions,
    so is their conduct really pure and upright?

The Journey Continues: Today and looking back a year

A year ago today Richard checked into OU Medical. He spent the next several days having intense chemo to prepare him for the bone marrow transplant that would take place the following week.  He knew that he would miss several end of the school events but he also knew that this was the procedure that could give him many more years of events.  He knew the risks but he knew what the alternative was.

Tonight he enjoyed the band concert and watching his daughter perform a solo.  Part of the enjoyment was that she didn't know she was playing until she looked at the program!  The look on her face was priceless!! The look on Richard's face was even better!! Thank-you band director!!!

       

I am praying for many more years of events to enjoy with my husband.  I thank God for His mercy of at least one more year and beg Him for many more!!  Thanks again to everyone for the prayers then, now and tomorrow!! God has blessed us with your prayers, kindness, words and encouragements!!!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

The Journey Continues: Graft/vs/Host Disease

For those of you that have been following my husband's journey with Hodgkin's Lymphoma you know that he was diagnosed in 2009.  You also know that he has underwent many chemo treatments, a stem cell transplant in 2010 using his own stem cells and then last years transplant using a bone marrow donor.  The anniversary of that date is approaching and May 17th will be one year.  The last pet scan showed that he is in partial remission and the doctor stated that things were headed in the right direction.

Richard has had many graft/vs/host issues.  That new immune system didn't recognize its new home and created much havoc.  It helped fill up his lungs with fluids, shut down his kidneys and started chewing up his colon.  The good news is that the doctor knew what to do and started him on some new medicines and back on some of the old ones.  At this point, almost a year later, he is off most of those medicines and  he is actually down to five medicines a day, with some of those twice a day.  He does still have to have blood work weekly and knows the signs of graft/vs/host  and what to do if that happens.

In thinking about what my husband has been through this year with the graft/vs/host disease I have discovered that I have a disease similar to his.  It is called self/vs/Holy Spirit disease.  How many times have I put self to the front.  How many times have I just done what I wanted without heeding the Holy Spirit.  I have medicine but I lay it aside.  It is the Bible, prayer and the Holy Spirit.  I know the signs but sometimes I just ignore them.  I indulge in selfish desire and quench the Spirit.  Sometimes I let self chew up my insides until I finally pick up my medicine and take it daily.  I can feel the calming, soothing medicine as it tames me and reminds me to take my medicine daily.  My medicine reminds me that I had a donor.  That Donor was Jesus and He took my sins to the cross.  I know the signs of self/vs/Holy Spirit and I know what to do to keep the disease away!

                                   

Romans 15:13

New International Version (NIV)

¹³ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;