The Journey Continues: Back in the hospital.

What a wild week this has been.  Richard started out on the 19th of September feeling funny and by the next day he left work early with some stomach problems and fever.  That afternoon, after calling the bone marrow Dr., we went to the ER.  They weren't sure what he had, but treated him for a bacterial infection.  He started feeling better and was back at work on Thursday.  The next day he felt really tired and came home early.

We had friends coming over on Saturday evening and I kept asking him if he wanted me to cancel and he told me that he was fine, just feeling tired.  Saturday I went to a book signing and he prepared the Chili for our guests. When I got home he looked exhausted but still told me that he was fine, just tired. He did tell me that he was very fuzzy headed.  We had a fun evening but I could tell that Richard really was not feeling well.  He told me later, he would not have canceled.

That night his stomach problems started again and he had a very restless night.  Could it have been his chili? LOL   When he got up the next morning and I seen him having to stand very still to get his balance I told him we were going back to the ER.  This time when we got there, his blood pressure was very low and the scales showed that he had lost 18 pounds in a little less than a week. They started him on fluids for dehydration and the ER doctor decided they should call the bone marrow doctor.  They wanted Richard to come to the hospital in Oklahoma City but said that if he would go home and drink lots of fluids and call them in the morning that would  work.

The next morning the nurse told us to come to the office and to be  prepared to stay.  His counts were all out of whack and they decided the best place for him was in the hospital.  Today, after four days of blood work and testing, we were told that his CMV counts were high and when they are under control and his blood pressure stabilizes he will be able to go back home.

Several of his counts are coming on down.  His pancreas levels were really high but are almost normal now.  The preliminary test on the colonoscopy are okay but still waiting on the inside cell ones.  Tonight his blood pressure has been doing better.  The test to see if this has anything to do with graft/verses/host issues are still not back.

Just wanted YOU GUYS to know we could do not this alone.  God is in control and He has put you in our lives for a reason!!  Thank-you for all the prayers and support.  We serve a might God!!!

Ephesians 6:18

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

I Killed Jesus

I killed Jesus!  No, I was not there when He died but I killed him.  I was not there when He was dragged and beaten.  I was not in the crowd that yelled, "Crucify Him!"  I did not witness His walk through the crowded streets or see Him fall under the weight of the cross.  I didn't hear the sound of the hammer as it hit the nails that pierced through His forgiving hands.  I didn't hear the cries of His mother as she watched Her son die but I killed Jesus!

How could I kill Jesus if I wasn't there?  There is something inside me that was there.  It was there when He was dragged and beaten.  It was there when the crowd chose Him to be crucified.  It was there when he walked the street to Golgotha.  It was there when He was nailed to the cross. This thing inside me didn't even cringe when His mother cried.

I am not the only one that has this thing inside me.  Everybody has it.  It is sin.

Romans 3:23

New International Version (NIV)

²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

This sin inside me is why Jesus died.  My sin killed Jesus but He left heaven and was born to die for me.  His death on the cross paved the way to my salvation.  He knew that without Him I would die and He took my place.

Romans 6:23

New International Version (NIV)

²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in^[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 5:8

New International Version (NIV)

⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


  Christ died for me even though I had a part in His death.  He knew that without His death I would have faced destruction. Jesus forgave my sin even though it killed Him. He gave us hope!  Jesus knew that God would raise Him from the dead but when I think of the pain that He suffered because of me I am forever grateful! When God raised Christ from the grave I was given a choice.

Romans 10:9

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved

Romans 8:1

New International Version (NIV)

¹ Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

I choose Christ!! What will you choose??

Driving with the Engine Warning Light On!

The other day on the way home from work a light popped up on my dash.  Of course I had no idea what it was.  I just knew that it was there to tell me something.  I called my husband and told him to meet me outside when I got home because he needed to look at the light.  He took one look at it and said, " oh, that's the engine light."  He explained to me that it could be anything from the gas cap not being on right to something being wrong with the engine.

Well the engine light is still on.  My husband messed with the gas cap and seems to think the engine light could be on because the gas cap doesn't seem to stay on tight.  So I have been driving with the engine light on.  I try to ignore it but every time I start the car  there it is.  My mind wanders to other possibilities that it could be.  What if it is something deep within the internal system?  What if  the car breaks down?  I can explore the possibilities in my mind but until I take it to the car master I will continue to keep wandering.

There are also times in my life when I get warnings that something deep within me is just not right. What is my heart trying to tell me? I wonder why things seem out of sorts.  Maybe I stayed up to late?  Maybe I forgot to eat?(LOL)  Maybe I forgot to pray.  Maybe I forgot who my heart Master is?  I can try to figure it out but until I go to my heart Master I will continue to wonder.


Who is Master of your heart??

Micah 7:18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ Who is a God like you,
   who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
   of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
   but delight to show mercy.

The Journey Continues: Almost 4 months out!!

Richard gets to go two weeks again!!!!  I was really surprised because his counts had dropped quite a bit but the Dr. was still pleased.  YEA!!! She also took him off of more medicines.  He is down to four from the original 16 and a cream he using on his rash.

He did have a two hour infusion of the igg.  That will help his immune system but this time he has felt really sick.  When we got in the car yesterday to leave he was very sick to his stomach and very tired.  He didn't sleep well last night and exhausted this morning.  Of course he went to work.  Pray that he will feel better and be able to sleep tonight.

Thanks again for all your prayers!!!

SONG

“Heaven Would Fall” – music and lyrics by Wendy Mae Jones

“let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” ~Hebrews 10:22

Verse 1:
Please be with me my Father
Please be near to me my God
For I am drawing ever closer
And I am falling in Your arms

Verse 2:
You’ve always loved me when I’ve fallen
You’ve always loved me when I’ve strayed
Again I’m needing You to love me
Even now when You’re by my side

CHORUS:
I am calling for You
Heaven’s falling from You
Washing all my sin and pride away
Taking every burden
Healing all my hurt
And I see heaven falling here

Verse 3:
I’ve seen Your angels all around me
I’ve felt their joy and perfect peace
But now I’m asking You to hold me
Bring me strength when I’m on my knees


Wanted to share this song that a friend of mine, Wendy Jones, wrote.  Read the words and hear her heart!!

Junk

I couldn't quit thinking about my junk yesterday.  I questioned myself about my junk creating chaos in my life. I can walk right past my junk without even thinking about it.  I guess that when you come from a family of hoarders it can be seem normal.  I had hoarders in my family before hoarders were on television.  My grandma's house would have made a great show.  She had a tiny path we could walk through or sometimes we just crawled over.  I remember staying with her as a child and she would clean the area around the bed I slept in. It seemed normal to see the junk.  My husband should be glad he doesn't have to crawl over piles.

The more I thought about my junk I remembered a few times when I did get rid of those piles.  I do remember how nice it was not to worry  that someone might come over or if a guest opened the wrong door. Maybe it does create some chaos.  Thinking back to my grandma's house I think of things I never thought of when I was a child, like could there have been spiders and mice in the piles.  There were probably things lurking in those piles I do not even want to know about.  I wonder what might be in my piles?

I also started thinking about me.  What junk is lurking within me?  What am I hoarding inside?  There are hurts, disappointments and sin I have hidden deep within my heart.  Things that might hurt to think about.   I need to face the spiders, mice and junk within me.  I need to quit hoarding the junk and give it to Jesus.  He will cleanse me from within.

Hebrews 10:22

New International Version (NIV)

²² let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

"My" Day Off

I finally got my Wednesday off without something to do.  I didn't have to run to Oklahoma City with Richard.  I had the whole day to do whatever I wanted.  It's been so long I wasn't sure what to do.

I did a little cleaning and then a little resting, a little more cleaning, then a little more resting.  It was nice.  Then I settled in to finish my week from the Bible study that I am in.  I wasn't real sure that I liked what I was reading.  Angela Thomas, author and teacher, stated in her book 'When Wallflowers dance' that we needed to get the chaos out of our life.  That included a messy house and a body out of control from indulgences from chocolate and cookies and not exercising.  She stated that if the foundational structure of your life is in chaos and disrepair, we have nowhere to build.  To restore order in your life would mean giving yourself more time to think.

I am already struggling with trying to get my body in check, one baby step at a time, but now I have to think about getting the chaos out of my house too! WOW I did not want to read that.  I have a habit of holding on to things and having piles and now I have to think about letting go of them.  If chaos in my house is keeping me from thinking and and have the right relationship with God I need to spend my next day off getting rid of some junk.

What about you, what kind of junk is in your life?

Ephesians 2:10

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

The Mustang Man

My daddy was a Mustang Man.  He love the Mustang cars.  My sister even got one her senior year.  I believe it was a 1966 model.  Those were the Mustangs that he liked.  The 1965, 1966 era.  In 1980 I had a blue 1980 Mustang but I never thought it looked as good as the one my sister had.

My dad never forgot his love for those 1960's Mustangs.  I remember in the mid to late 1980's, my boys and I would pile in the car with him and my mom to go looking for Mustangs.  Sometimes he would find one, sometimes he didn't. What he was looking for were those that needed an overhaul.  If he found the right one he would buy it, bring it home and start the remake.

He would start on the inside of the car.  He would work on the engine, transmission or even replace them as needed.  He would get those cars purring then the polishing would start.  He would make those cars look shiny and  brand new.  Most of the time he would sell them but sometimes he would keep one for a while.  

Now my dad could have just polished the car and made it look brand new but he knew that he needed to start with the inside.  What good is a car that looks polished but doesn't run?

I know another Father who starts with the inside.  He know there needs to be a change.  His concern is not for the outward appearance but for what comes from inside.  He has always loved us and always will.  He wants to remake our engine.  What good is a polished appearance if the inside stinks?

Do you need an overhaul today?

1 Samuel 16

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁷ But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”




    

The Journey Continues: Week 15 after transplant, GOOD NEWS!!!

Just a quick update today:  No appointment for TWO weeks!!!!

Yesterday was 105 days after transplant and some good news!!  It has seemed like there has always been something.  Low white counts or igg or something but yesterday was all good news.

White blood count was 8000.  WHOO HOOOO!!!  All his counts were good except the kidney function was just a tad high but they just told him to start drinking more water.

Last week Richard smiled, this week he was ecstatic!!

He does still have that rash but the Dr. did say that when that goes away he will be able to start going off more medicines.  He is down from ten medicines a day to six.

Thanks for all your prayers but keep those prayers going up!!

Psalm 47:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Sing praises to God, sing praises;
   sing praises to our King, sing praises.
⁷ For God is the King of all the earth;
   sing to him a psalm of praise.