Don't call me a widow

The other day one of the deacons from the church asked me if I wanted to go to the widow's banquet this next week.  I told him no I didn't want to go and not to call me a widow.  I told him I wasn't old enough to be called a widow, that should be for woman that are 100 years old, certainly not one my age.  Though I know that many woman have lost their husbands at younger ages than I am it just felt odd to me.

I am sure that each person that loses a spouse have different feelings and thoughts.  Here are some of my thoughts from the last 12 days.

I wondered if it was a dream.

I wondered what I needed to do and how to act.

I wondered if I would drown in the sea of loneliness.

I wondered about my husband in heaven, with no more pain and no more sorrow!

Here are some thoughts that I know are true.

My God will sustain me!

My God gives me comfort and hope!

My God sends people to me at just the right time with just the right words!

My God gives me all I need plus more!

My God is there when the loneliness sets in.

My God reminds me that I will see Richard again!

I know in my brain that yes technically I am a widow but it still just seems so odd!  I don't know if I will get used to hearing it but I promise I won't bite your head off if you slip and call me a widow!
Thanks for reading my ramblings!

Romans 8:39New Living Translation (NLT)

39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The Bowling Churchwomen

1990 was the year that I moved to Enid, Oklahoma.   I had thought that I was okay with the move but once I got to Enid I missed my hometown so much that I wanted to take my family and head back home.  Wellston was where my friends were.  Wellston was where my family was.  My group was there.

I did join a church and made friends but something was missing.  It was my group!  The people in that group were people that I had grown up with and went to church with.  They knew my secrets, they laughed and cried with me.  I also knew their secrets, laughed and cried with them.  I missed them, the intimacy and the silliness.  

I had been at the Enid church about two years when I let the piano player talk me into joining a bowling league.  That was the start of the group! A group that I was a part of and that accepted me just as I was!  By the second year of bowling there were two teams.  The women were all from church.  We were the Bowling Churchwomen!!

Some of the women's husband's would be there cheering us on.  There was also a brother to one of the bowlers that would fill in if one of us could not be there.  It was not a big deal.  We just called him by the name of the woman who was absent.  He fit right in.

This group not only put up with me and my silliness, they kept me sane.  They put up with my jokes(including a fake wedding), Dr. Pepper flying out of my nose from laughter, sadness from divorce and death and  bragging about my children.  In turn I happily did the  same for them.  We were not just a group, we were best friends!

Then change happened.  One member had a job transfer, another's work hours changed, one had grandbabies and before we knew it the group was no longer bowling.  The women of the Bowling Churchwomen may not be together anymore but they are engraved in my heart forever!

God will supply the needs of His children!  God knew that when He gave me that desire of my heart that He also filled a need. 

Philippians 4:19

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Another Get Rid of Your Junk Post

I was in church yesterday morning and I noticed something about my Bible.  I was turning to the scripture that our pastor was going to read from and I was having a hard time getting there because of all the junk crammed into my Bible.  I had old bulletins, some dating years back, old pictures of my children, drawings, several book marks, old notes, two pencils and a pen.  I have gotten so used to the junk in my Bible that I didn't even notice that it was there.  Until yesterday when it kept trying to spill out.

I know that the the pastor preached a wonderful sermon from James 4 but I don't remember what it was.  I was too busy looking at the junk in my Bible.  A thought came to me when I realized that I wasn't even listening.  My thought was that my Bible was like my life.  I have been working on removing the junk from my life but  many times I don't because I am so used to the junk. The junk seems normal.  Sometimes there is so much junk in my heart that I don't  hear God talking to me just like I wasn't listening to God's word yesterday because I was occupied with the junk in my Bible.

I need to clean out my Bible, just as I need to keep the junk out of my heart.  I want this new year to be the best junk free year ever! I need to be strong and leave the junk behind.  I need to leave it at the throne of my King!  What about you?  Is there junk in your life?

Happy New Year's to You!  Hoping that 2013 will be junk free!!

1 Corinthians 16:13-14

New International Version (NIV)

¹³ Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. ¹⁴ Do everything in love.