Covering My Blemishes

                                                   

I am always trying to figure out a way to cover my blemishes, my warts, my age spots and well you get the picture.  I use foundation to try to hide the imperfections on my face.  The problem is that I apparently have the kind of skin that the foundation just melts away, sometimes even before I get to to where I am going. I have used the liquid kind, the powder kind and the kind that says it will last all day.  None of them have worked.  I keep trying though.  I want to keep those blemishes covered. If I could find the right maskI would just wear a it.

I do a good job though of hiding the blemishes of my soul.  The hurts, the frustrations, the imperfections and the sins.  The problem is I apparently am the kind of person that mask the things within my soul. The mask I put on seems to hide those hurts, frustrations and sins but they are still there.  That mask, just like the foundation I use on my face, is temporary.  I have to let those hurts, frustrations and sins melt in the hands of my Jesus.  He takes them and covers them with His blood.  He wants me to drop the mask and let Him be the foundation of my life.

Do you need a Foundation?

Isaiah 28:16

New King James Version (NKJV)

16 Therefore thus says the Lord God:

“Behold, I lay in Zion a stone for a foundation,
A tried stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation;
Whoever believes will not act hastily.

Proverbs 10:25

New King James Version (NKJV)

25 When the whirlwind passes by, the wicked is no more,
But the righteous has an everlasting foundation.

The Journey Continues:May 2014

It has been a while since I last posted and a lot has happened.  Richard was back in the hospital with a fungal infection and was off of work through the end of April.  He was very impatient with his quest to  get back to work.  He is a stubborn, determined man.   The Doctors have told him that is part of the reason that he is still alive.  This may be true but I know much of the reason that he is still alive is through the grace of God and the many prayers that you guys have been sending up.

He has had an ultra sound, pet scan, pulmonary function test and a bone density test.  The ultra sound showed that he had some kind of mass in his gallbladder, the bone density test showed that he had lost two inches in height(probably due to the steroids) and the pulmonary function test showed a little of a decrease. It is of my professional opinion(that of the wife) that this is getting better as he is getting rid of the virus's, the bacterial infections and the fungal pneumonia.  Next appointment three weeks.

The pet scan showed two small spots that are located in the neck area and they are still the same size as the last scan.  It also showed that the mass or whatever was clogging up his gall bladder is GONE!!  

God is good all the time and no matter what but this just seems like a really wonderful work of a goodness!

Thanks for all the prayers!  

Deuteronomy 10:21

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

21 He is your praise and He is your God, who has done these great and awesome things for you which your eyes have seen.



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The Inside of Your House

                                              

Everyday on the way to take my granddaughter to school I pass a certain house on the way.  It is a beautiful farmhouse.  The fields are tilled with no debris and  the lawns are always mowed.  The house is white with large pillars gracing the front porch.  Everyday when driving by this house I can see through into the house.  I can only see lights so I don't really know what the inside of the house looks like.  I can only imagine that it is just as immaculate as the outside is.

I know that there are many times when a driver might look at our house and see the lights shining from within and think that the inside is clean.  I know, in my house, that many times the outside looks so much better than the inside.  On certain days if a person were to come to my door and I invited them in they might be really be surprised to see the mess.  The outside does not always tell the truth.  If I know in advance that someone is coming to my house, than I clean, mop, sweep whatever I need to do to make my house presentable.

This morning when I drove by that lovely farmhouse I wondered if they might have the same problem with the inside of their house as I do with mine.  I also wondered if people might  look at me and wonder what is on the inside?   Do they look at me and think oh she has it all together or can they see the chaos that might be floating through my insides?  If I know in advance that I am going to see someone I can look like I am clean.  Are my insides full of debris and need to be tilled?  Can they see the debris of uncertainty, anger and pride?

I do have a sweeper that will sweep away my debris.  He will clean as often as needed.  I can look immaculate but if the inside is dirty it will eventually shine through.  I often have to ask the sweeper to sweep away the dirt in my soul.   My sweeper is Jesus and He cares more about the inside than what the outside looks like.  What about you?

Do you need swept out?

1 John 1:7-9

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

7 but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The Journey Continues:Quick Update March 2014

Good news, Richard doesn't have to go back to the Doctor for two weeks!!  He is still having lots of cramping,  quite a bit of congestion and fatigue.  He also has lost four more pounds because the sores are still bad in his mouth.  They may put him on a different drug for the graft vs host at the next visit.

Richard is getting really tired of feeling bad but he did say it would be worth it if that silver lining comes true. That silver lining is that acute graft vs host that he is experiencing is the kind that normally will help get rid of tumors and normally you don't see the cancer come back.

Thanks again for all the prayers and keep them coming!!

Psalm 54:1-2

New King James Version (NKJV)

54 Save me, O God, by Your name,
And vindicate me by Your strength.
2 Hear my prayer, O God;
Give ear to the words of my mouth.

The Journey Continues:Update Feb. 2014

Just when I think that we are in the clear and do not need to update, something happens.  I guess that is the nature of the graft vs host beast.  Just when I think that Richard might be slipping into normal, it rears it's ugly head and sends him back into that dark abyss.  Part of his problem, and I do tell him this, is that he wants it to be gone so bad he can't see what is happening.  It is blamed on normal stuff but in reality the majority of the time it is graft vs host.

It has been a long time since we have had to make weekly treks south to Oklahoma City but next week will be the fourth week in a row.  Two weeks ago it was pneumonia, sinus, mouth sores, RSV and graft vs host problems.  Last week it was check-up and a cat scan.  The graft vs host was not any better, the congestion was still there but not quite as bad and the cat scan showed two spots on his neck.  This week the congestion is better but the graft vs host had not changed.  They have put him back on anti-rejection medicine, antibiotic, a liquid steroid to help with the mouth sores, and another medicine to help with his immune system.  They also did a skin biopsy to make sure that the fight is all graft vs host.  He was told that he has chronic graft vs host and acute graft vs host.

The Doctor did tell us that there could be a silver lining.  He said that the acute graft vs host rash looks like the kind that normally will get rid of tumors and that the cancers usually don't return when a person is afflicted with this.  The key word here is normal.  You guys all know that my Richard is not normal.  My prayer though is that the Doctor is right.

I do try to get my husband to listen to me when I think he has graft vs host.  Normally he doesn't listen, sometimes to the point where it has almost been to late.  Thinking about this and how he reacts made me think about sin in my life.  How many times do I sin and as I am slipping into that dark abyss it just seems normal.  I blame other things and other people but it is just sin. That is the nature of that beast called sin.  There is a silver lining though.  It is Jesus!  He is the medicine that I need.  He woos and calls me until I realize that I am in the grips of sin. He than pulls me up out of that deep, dark abyss and back into His light.

What about you?  Are you in the light?

John 14:6

New King James Version (NKJV)

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

Are you listening?

                                                

The other day a good friend and I were talking and the subject came up about the art of listening.  It does seem that some people do not listen. They only want to talk.  They want to tell their story but they don't seem to listen in return.  This made me think about how well that I listen.  I decided that I really don't listen very well.  Many times my mind is wandering to other things and sometimes I look up to see the talker looking at me with a weird look.  I know that I am probably supposed to respond with something but since I don't know what was said I don't know what to say.  A conversation should be give and take, not one sided, but if one is not listening the right response will probably not come out of the mouth.

In thinking about the give and take of a conversation I also realize that many times my conversations with God are one sided.  Many times I am telling God what I need and what I want to happen but than I am not being still to listen to His response.  I wonder how many times God is speaking to me but I don't respond because I haven't heard what was being said?  I have to learn to be still and listen!

Are you listening?

Proverbs 23:19

New International Version (NIV)

Saying 16

19 Listen, my son, and be wise,
    and set your heart on the right path:

Psalm 46:10

New International Version (NIV)

10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

This one might be for you---

Today I had a phrase pop into my head and than after I mulled it over for a while I felt that I needed to share it.  I felt that it needed to be read by someone, so this might be for you.

God is working mightily in your life even if you don't feel, see, hear or smell it.

You need to know that no matter what God is working mightily and His works are wonderful.  He cares for you and He is in control!   God has only your best interest in His works.

Psalm 66:5

New King James Version (NKJV)

5 Come and see the works of God;
He is awesome in His doing toward the sons of men.

Job 37:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

14 “Listen to this, O Job;
Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.