Don't call me a widow

The other day one of the deacons from the church asked me if I wanted to go to the widow's banquet this next week.  I told him no I didn't want to go and not to call me a widow.  I told him I wasn't old enough to be called a widow, that should be for woman that are 100 years old, certainly not one my age.  Though I know that many woman have lost their husbands at younger ages than I am it just felt odd to me.

I am sure that each person that loses a spouse have different feelings and thoughts.  Here are some of my thoughts from the last 12 days.

I wondered if it was a dream.

I wondered what I needed to do and how to act.

I wondered if I would drown in the sea of loneliness.

I wondered about my husband in heaven, with no more pain and no more sorrow!

Here are some thoughts that I know are true.

My God will sustain me!

My God gives me comfort and hope!

My God sends people to me at just the right time with just the right words!

My God gives me all I need plus more!

My God is there when the loneliness sets in.

My God reminds me that I will see Richard again!

I know in my brain that yes technically I am a widow but it still just seems so odd!  I don't know if I will get used to hearing it but I promise I won't bite your head off if you slip and call me a widow!
Thanks for reading my ramblings!

Romans 8:39New Living Translation (NLT)

39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Valentines Day 2016

                                 

Yesterday was my first Valentine's day without my husband.  I watched as others celebrated the day with one of my favorites, chocolates, and thought of my husband in heaven.  I celebrate the fact that he is in heaven, with no more pain, no more sorrow but oh how I miss him!  Richard always gave me chocolate among other things and I sat and thought about the many Valentine's Days that we had together.

I kept going back to one before we were married, in fact we weren't even engaged yet.  Now you might need to know that Richard was taught that you don't show your feelings.  He was taught that if you show your feelings that this could be used against you.

I worked for an eye doctor on the Valentine's Day that I am thinking about it.  I looked up when I heard the the door open and saw Richard coming through the door at work.  His face was lit up and I saw that in his hands he held flowers and chocolates.  He let his feelings shine through on that Valentine's Day!  He stepped out of his comfort zone and in doing so changed the course of my history!

While I was thinking about that day I thought of another who stepped out of His comfort zone. Jesus left the comfort of heaven and came to earth.  He came through that door for me and for you!  He endured torture and death because He was willing to step out of His comfort zone.  He wants us to open that door that leads to Him!

Have you opened that door?  Step out of your comfort zone and find the Savior waiting!

It could change the course of your history!

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:10 

John 3:16-17 

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

 

The Journey Continues:The final chapter

                                          

                                           

                                             

I certainly did not think that I would be writing about the final chapter of my husband's life for many years.  At least that was what I was praying for. The last year was very hard for Richard.  His hip broke and then he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer but he still fought.  He was fighting to stay with his family and friends.  I believe that God gives most people the will to stay on earth.

The last week of his life he was not able to have liquids through the mouth only through his feeding tube.  This was heartbreaking at times as he begged for water.  He would just repeat over and over water please, then ice and then finally he would settle for a swab with water on it.  He is now with the Lord and he is drinking of the living water!

One thing that my husband would tell me was no more tears!  In heaven there will be no more tears but here for those left to morn there have been tears but also laughter in remembering the life of a man that fought the good fight.  He fought this fight through the power of Jesus!

He would be the first to tell you that Jesus is the way the truth and the life and that through Jesus you can come to the living water!  This is what you need to beg for.    He would want you to know that Jesus died on the cross and rose again for him and for you.  If he was here today he would say please drink from the living water!!

Don't settle for a swab, ask for the living water!

John 14:6New International Version (NIV)

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.