Ramblings from a tired mind

It is funny the things that pop into my mind when I am tired.  Things that pop into my mind when tired are things like I am never going to get the rest that I need, how come everyone else in the whole wide world have such clean homes, my house will always be dirty and that spiders are going to take over the world.

This morning after wrestling with my mind that yes I did have to get up my feet touched the floor with mild hesitation but with a resolve that I would make it through the day but I would be on the look out for spiders. Whether my mind is tired or calm I make sure that there are no spiders in my path but when my mind is tired spiders seem a larger than normal. I calmly shook out my towel to make sure that no spiders had taken up residence on the towel that would dry off my face.  I can not imagine a spider close to my face.  I also made sure that there were no spiders in my shoes, in my slacks, in my socks, in my hair brush, on the toilet paper, in my slacks and well you get the picture.  Spiders can be larger than they really are!  They are evil!!

As I was calmly looking for any spiders that might have crept into my life I realized that there is something larger, more evil and more sinister than any spider could ever be.  It is the devil!  You know the one that will end up in a flaming, fiery furnace called hell.  I need to have a check list every morning to make sure the devil is not in my life.  Is there sin that needs taken care of that the evil one parades in front of me, are my thoughts clean and pure even when tired, am I to pushy, to righteous, too angry, to prideful and well I think you get the picture.

I need to be on the lookout and kept the devil at bay.  I need to keep my pray life active, read and study the Bible and listen to the Holy Spirit and be accountable to my God.  I need to heed the warnings of other Christians and keep my mind pure and Holy. That is the check list I need to go through every morning to keep the one that is more evil than spiders out of my life!

What about you?  Do you have the right checklist?

Revelation 20:10

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

1 Corinthians 3:18-19

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. ¹⁹ For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”^[a];

The Spider Bite

Have you ever been bitten by a spider?  I have.  In 2001 I was at a flea market in Texas and felt something on my hand.  I looked down and saw a spider.  I went into panic mode and started jumping, yelling and dropped everything that I was carrying.  I felt a sting as the spider fell to the ground.  My hand immediately swelled up and turned pink.  I don't know if it was from the bite or just the fact that a spider had been on me but I felt nauseated and  faint.  I was ready to leave that flea market and never go back.

I did leave fairly quickly with the rest of my family.  The farther away from that flea market and that spider the better I felt.  My hand did feel sore for a while but it healed without a visit to the doctor.  I was already on antibiotics for an infection and I watched it to closely to make sure that my hand didn't fall off or something worse.

I remembered that spider bite the other day when I saw another spider bite.  This one was not on me.  It was on a young lady that had been bit by a brown recluse spider.  It looked terrible and had a huge scab with red around it.  It made my spider bite look like a flea bite.

I know the ones that read my posts regularly know that I hate spiders!  The spiders remind me of the devil.  They are evil and they can spread poison.  The devil is evil and will spread poison.  He will fill me full of poison at my weakest moments.  He knows what my downfalls are and he will bite down, twist and bite!  He wants his poison to spread through my system before I know what is happening.  Sometimes the poison may make a huge wound and sometimes it is just a flea bite but it still will affect me.  It can affect you too!

My antibiotic against the devil's bites are prayer, the Bible and the Holy Spirit.  Just as I always check for spiders in the shower I have to pray, read the Bible and listen to the woo of the Holy Spirit.  The devil wants to bite and scare me but I have the antibiotic.  He wants to bite you too!  Do you have the antibiotic?

John 14:25-27

New International Version (NIV)

²⁵ “All this I have spoken while still with you. ²⁶ But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 3:16-17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

The Journey Continues:Options

The results are in from the biopsy.  It is positive for cancer.  Richard and I will meet with the doctor Wednesday at three(blood work at two) to figure out our options.  We had already been told about three different chemo treatments that are available and have showed good results.  It is good to have options and we will have many questions.

Now Richard told me that I didn't have the option to cry.  I beg to differ, unbidden tears spring to my eyes just writing this.  I am a cryer and I really don't have any options but to cry.  I cry when I am happy, sad and sometimes for no reason.  I will try to have options on when I cry.  I will try to not cry in front of my husband and mainly in private but there is no guarantee.  I have told many people that I am not strong despite my tears but because of my tears.  I believe that God gave me the gift of tears.  Somehow no matter how tough things seem I feel better after a good cry.  Maybe my husband could learn from that.

Richard is very strong and he is determined.  He will fight to victory and if you know him you know that he knows that victory is in whatever happens.  Whether he is cured or whether he ends up in heaven that will be his victory.  He is not worried about that but about his family.  His journey with cancer started in 2009 and he has fought for every victory.

Richard's fight with cancer and graft/vs/host reminds me of the fight we struggle with daily.  Just as his cancer  decided to keep coming back so does satin in our spiritual fight.  We make strides and then setbacks.  We struggle daily to defeat the devil.  I need to remember that God is the one to turn to daily.  I can't do this on my own or I don't win.  The devil does.  Remember we all have options!  What about you?  What are your options?

God has given us another gift. The prayers!  Many of you pray daily for us.  Thank-you from the bottom my heart!!

Proverbs 3:5-6

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.^[a]